Sacred listening: transform ministry through relational trust

YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY CARRY a quiet but undeniable longing: they want to be heard. The world around them is loud—filled with screens demanding their attention, institutions that have let them down, and a culture moving too fast to notice their stories. They aren’t asking for quick fixes or perfect answers. They want someone to sit with them, take them seriously, and listen as they wrestle with doubts and share their dreams.

This longing is not a challenge to ministry—it is the starting point. The church, particularly through the lens of synodality, has made clear that listening isn’t just part of its mission. It is the mission. Pope Francis describes synodality as a way of walking together in dialogue, with an openness to hear how the Holy Spirit speaks through each person. Listening isn’t just where the journey starts; it is the path itself, and this is particularly true for ministry with young people. 

This vision lies at the heart of Listen, Teach, Send (LTS), the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ new framework for youth and young adult ministry. The authors of LTS didn’t make listening the first step by accident—they made it the foundation. If we don’t listen, nothing else we do will matter. Before we teach, before we send, we have to stop and listen.

We have spent years exploring the transformative power of listening in ministry and founded Future of Faith to help dig even deeper into the connection between listening and faith formation. Our research reveals a single truth: listening is not just a step in the process—it is the process itself. It isn’t the way to gain trust to tell the truth. It is the way the truth is revealed to people in their own hearts. 

Last year, we set out to try to understand the exact role that listening plays in a young person’s faith formation. In research that is central to our mission at Future of Faith, we began by surveying over 1,000 people using a nationally representative sample, and what we found was astonishing. 

We’ll explore some of the findings from that study below, but pause here and consider these top-level effects of listening for young people 18-25:

•    85 percent agreed that when someone listens attentively, it makes them more likely to engage in meaningful conversations in the future.
•    77 percent agreed that when someone listens without judgment, they feel more connected.
•    70 percent said that when they feel listened to in a conversation about faith or spirituality, it makes them more likely to be open about those topics in the future.
•    72 percent indicated that being listened to helps them process doubt, disillusionment, and grief.
•    68 percent said being listened to deepens their faith.

When young people feel heard, they open the doors to their hearts, making space for authentic relationships and spiritual growth. It is not a stretch to conclude that listening changes everything.

Unfortunately, church and religious settings are not where young people feel listened to. When we asked them to list their top places where they feel heard, only 26% of self-identified religious teenagers selected “faith community (e.g., church)” as among their top three.  

This mismatch between the importance of listening and the frequency with which it occurs in religious settings means that Listen, Teach, Send couldn’t be more timely and vital for the future of the church and, more importantly, for the future of our young people.

During our time at the National Catholic Educational Association, Lincoln Snyder, former president and CEO, often reminded us, “You cannot catechize somebody who hasn’t been evangelized.” This is where we find ourselves with many young people today. The church has strong systems for catechesis, but many young people have not been introduced to the foundations of faith. They grow up in households embedded in a culture that is often disconnected from the transformative power of religion and belief. Many of them only know religion based on what they see on social media, movies, and television. They have never experienced the transformative love of Jesus. Listening is our starting point for everything. It is the way we evangelize—by meeting young people where they are and accompanying them in love.   

The decline of institutional trust and the need for new pathways

Young adults are navigating a world where trust in traditional institutions—including religious ones—has significantly eroded, with most, including religion, at or near all-time lows. Surveys reveal that younger generations are far less likely than previous ones to trust established institutions and their leaders, citing reasons such as perceived hypocrisy, scandals, and a culture of institutional failures. The church is no exception to this trend, as many young people see it as disconnected from their lived experiences.

While institutional trust has declined, relational trust remains a powerful force. Young people may hesitate to trust the church as an institution, but they often place immense trust in individuals who take the time to know them personally. In our study, over 68% of young adults (18-25 years old) have high levels of trust in people they know personally and low levels of trust for large organizations (20%) and their leaders (31%). This shift from institutional authority to relational credibility presents a challenge for churches and other religious groups.

Many of the standard ways of doing ministry were developed on the assumption that people trusted religious organizations and leaders. This was true as recently as the 1950s and 1960s, when institutional trust was high. In that environment, it made sense to lead with institutional markers such as titles, expertise, large campuses, and central authority.  

In our modern, low-trust world, these approaches are not as effective.  The more we lean into our institutional identities and markers, the less influence we gain among people skeptical of us and the institutions we work in. To regain trust with generations where it has been lost or was never present, we need to lean more into relational approaches rooted in the transformative power of listening.

For young people, trust does not come from titles or roles. It is earned in the quiet moments of being with another person, fully present and fully attentive. Today’s young adults trust relationships far more than institutions. They look for leaders who care about them as people, not projects.   

This approach mirrors the ministry of Jesus, who did not demand trust based on his authority but earned it through personal encounters. From healing the blind man to dining with Zacchaeus, Jesus built trust by listening to people’s deepest needs and showing them that they mattered. Just as God listens to our prayers and accompanies us through joys and struggles, the social science indicates that ministers in the modern era would do well to embody that same patience and presence. Listening becomes an act of participating in God’s work. 

A theology of listening

Listening might sound simple, but its effects are profound. Pope Francis describes listening as “an act of love,” a posture that transforms the listener and the one being heard. The theological roots of this approach run deep. In every young person, we see the Imago Dei—the image of God. Listening becomes a sacred act of recognizing their inherent dignity and worth. It’s no wonder, then, that listening resonates so strongly with today’s young people when so many “voices” in their lives try to convince them of their worthlessness daily. 

Although we are social scientists at Future of Faith, we believe that starting from this fundamental theological position of Imago Dei is critical. If we begin with the assumption that every opportunity to interact with a young person is a chance to encounter the presence of the divine, then it makes it much easier to be interested when your kid talks to you about Minecraft for 20 minutes straight (okay, we may be speaking from personal experience here!). The theological posture of Imago Dei reminds us of how transformative it can be simply to sit and listen to the divine in one another. This foundation is at the core of the synodal process. Synodality calls the church to rediscover its role as a community that listens. As articulated in the preparatory documents for the Synod on Synodality, “Listening is the first step, but it requires having an open mind and heart, without prejudice.” LTS echoes this, urging ministers to embrace listening as a transformative act of evangelization and accompaniment. This call for listening relies on the basic agreement that other people are worth listening to, and Imago Dei helps to remind us of this basic truth.  

Sacred listening: a path forward

However, despite calls from religious leaders, helpful theological positions, and fancy surveys, true listening is not easy. At Future of Faith, we have come to understand that listening is a skill, not a passive act, and that when done correctly and with intention, it can be sacred work. 

With this in mind, we have developed an approach to listening that is both rooted in a particular interaction and scalable to support entire ministries of listening. We call this Sacred Listening. Sacred Listening builds on three core principles: intentional presence, alignment with the speaker’s needs, and pattern recognition. These practices create a space where people feel safe enough to share, trust enough to explore, and are seen enough to believe in their own worth.

Sacred Listening begins with intentional presence, the act of showing up fully for the person in front of you, free from distractions or preconceived solutions. In a culture saturated with noise and constant demands for attention, this kind of deep presence feels countercultural—almost radical. Yet, for a young person longing to be seen and understood, it is transformative. Sacred Listening requires putting aside the urge to fix or judge and simply being with the other person in their story.  

The second principle, alignment, means that the person listening must orient themselves in a way that makes the speaker feel heard. Deep empathy is required to understand that what makes you feel heard might not be true for everyone across cultures and backgrounds. Our survey with young adults, however, points to some behaviors which are deeply resonant with young people and make them feel like you are listening...or not.  Interrupting, appearing distracted (e.g., checking your phone), and jumping to conclusions were all signals that most of our respondents said made them feel unheard. On the other hand, demonstrating empathy by listening to understand, withholding judgment, and asking follow-up questions all communicate to most people that you are listening and paying attention to them.  

The third core element, pattern recognition, helps listeners discern recurring themes in conversations. These patterns often reveal not only individual concerns but also broader movements of the Holy Spirit within a person’s life. Sacred Listening is not just about the immediate encounter; it equips listeners to notice deeper spiritual currents. For example, patterns of doubt might reveal a young person wrestling with questions of identity, belonging, or purpose. It is sociological and sacred work to track your conversations and interactions with young people, look prayerfully and empirically for the patterns that emerge, and respond accordingly.  This is also the key to making relational approaches to ministry sustainable for large groups of people in your care. 

Pope Francis reinforces this approach in Evangelii Gaudium, where he writes, “The Church is called to be the house of the Father, with doors always wide open…Frequently, we act as arbiters of grace rather than its facilitators.  But the church is not a tollhouse.” This openness, he insists, begins with listening. It invites dialogue and ensures that those who feel distant from the church are welcomed with love and understanding. Sacred Listening models this openness, creating spaces where every voice is honored as a reflection of the divine.

This shift from transaction to transformation mirrors the way Jesus engaged with those he encountered. Think of the Samaritan woman at the well, whose entire life was changed not because Jesus gave her quick solutions, but because he truly listened and spoke to her deepest thirst. Sacred Listening invites ministers to emulate this approach, entering into conversations with a posture of openness, curiosity, and reverence for the sacredness of the other person’s journey.

Finally, Sacred Listening is not only about hearing words but about creating a sanctuary for vulnerability. Young adults today live in a culture that often prizes performance and perfection over authenticity. Sacred Listening offers them a space where they can be honest about their doubts, grief, and hopes. When a young person shares, “I feel like I don’t belong,” or “I’m scared I’ll make the wrong choice,” the act of listening—without judgment or agenda—becomes a way of embodying God’s unconditional love. This love, reflected in the listener’s attentiveness, has the power to heal wounds and ignite faith. In other words, listening is not simply something you do to understand the other person better, though it is useful for that. Our research is uncovering what we have been hearing anecdotally for years, namely, that listening is, in and of itself, a way to deepen another’s faith and bring them closer to the divine. It is not a means to an end—it is the end itself for so many young people.  

Addressing challenges in vocation in in in in vocation ministry

Listening can be uncomfortable. It asks ministers to set aside their agendas and step into the uncertainty of someone else’s story. Yet it is precisely this discomfort that creates space for transformation.

Our survey revealed that young people often feel silenced by authority figures who dominate conversations, offer unsolicited advice or judgment, or constantly correct. These barriers are opportunities for ministers to reimagine their role—not as lecturers but as companions. As true accompanists. One of the biggest challenges in our work with young people is to sit and listen even when a young person reveals alarming things about their behavior or beliefs.  The inclination is to step in and correct, but if the trust is not earned through listening, then the correction is felt as judgment and as an indication that you are not willing to get to know them and their realities. 

Our research shows that if you lead by listening, you will earn the right to be heard. Alexandria, a 24-year-old we interviewed, said, “If I know that someone listens to me, then at the very least, I can reciprocate that.”

Even with a strong relationship with Jesus, a 20-year-old might still mistrust institutions. Invite them to shape, not just join. Affirm their faith, listen with genuine curiosity, and share leadership. Transparency builds trust, revealing how God works through imperfect structures. Make space for real stories, consistent follow-through, and continued presence. Skepticism of institutions does not necessarily indicate a disinclination toward service.

Pope Francis reminds us that true accompaniment doesn’t mean sitting and listening without direction or condoning every thought or behavior of another person. Rather, a person must be accompanied into a relationship with Jesus. The question of how long that takes will be different for every person and rely much more on the Holy Spirit than on social science. Sacred Listening takes the simple act of being present and elevates it into a sacred encounter. This is the promise of Listen, Teach, Send. It is an invitation to step into ministry with open ears and open hearts, trusting that the God who listens to us will work through us. It is a call to accompany young people on their journeys, not as fixers, but as companions who listen with love and help guide the way.  

Megan Bissell is the co-founder and executive director of Future of Faith, as well as an applied sociologist and researcher. Josh Packard is the co-founder of Future of Faith and an expert in the spiritual lives of American youth and religious trends in the United States.